We went shopping yesterday (Thursday) and had a ball! I've never taken a 'normal' 2 year old shopping before, only ever my son, whom you will know has ADHD and ASD if you keep up with my blog, so it was quite an eye opening experience. Where I would avoid taking Kaleb to the shops for any reason, or for any longer than need be when he was 2, I found Anisiia was a breeze to take. She got a little whiny when I wouldn't let her out of the trolly to walk around but got over that quickly when we bought new shoes. If that were Kaleb he'd have been squirming, pulling at the belt, screaming at the top of his lungs and nothing would have distracted him from having a full on melt down.
For a while now I've been saying I'm not going to have any more children, even though I really would like a little girl, for the simple fact of not knowing if I could handle having Kaleb with all his issues and a nweborn/toddler around as well. Sometimes Kaleb is enough of a handful to put me off wanting children at all, even him! lol
I have to admit that he was excellent with Anisiia while she was here. He calmed her down when she was upset, fetched her what she wanted when she asked and even when I asked, without immediately asking 'why?' or just saying 'noooo' flat out. He really rose to the challenge of being a temporary big brother and even told me that 'having Anisiia around helped him become a better parent' lol. I think more of a big brother is appropriate but he really was excellent, which leads me to believe that maybe all he needs is a sibling in order for him to mature, become an 'older brother' and have the maturity and responsibility that entails.
At the moment he's an only child, so he only has to deal with me. He's my eldest and my baby all at once. I think if he had a little sister he would grow up considerably.
So this experience with Anisiia has taught me that perhaps I can handle having 2 children at once. I was quite proud of myself really. Everyone managed to get fed on time, I had both kids fed, bathed, dressed and in bed before 8:30pm! Anisiia went down at around 6:30-7pm and I let Kaleb stay up a little longer, because he's older, but had him down in bed at 8.
In the morning both kids were breakfasted, changed (Kaleb for school, Anisiia for our day out) and Kaleb got off to school on time! Having Anisiia around didn't fluster me, I didn't feel overwhelmed or stressed at all. But like I said, Kaleb really was on his best behaviour... I don't think I could expect that all the time, even if I did have another. He'd still have meltdowns. OMG imagine if they both had meltdowns at the same time! Imagine a newborn needing a feed and Kaleb having a tantrum over not wanting to do his homework.....starting to see my dilemma?
I had thought of waiting until Kaleb was around 15/16 and then he'd be only a few years off being out of home and I could have another then, when his issues aren't at home on a daily basis any more, but I'll be 36 by the time he's 16 so by then I might be thinking 'I'm FREE, why do I want another baby now!?'
I don't think I could be satisfied with my life if I didn't have another child, I say child but I really want a girl. I've had a boy, now I want a girl to complete my pigeon pair. Not that I wouldn't love any son I had equally, I'd just be a little disappointed at first is all lol. Not to mention I don't think I could handle 2 special needs children. I'm barely surviving having Kaleb, so what if I have another child with ADHD and/or ASD? There's no guarantee that Shannon was solely responsible for that genetic material, it's only speculated that boys inherit it from their fathers, not proven evidence. I may carry the ADHD and/or ASD gene and only need my partner to carry it also to get another child who is afflicted.
Who knows how it works. All I know is that I don't want to do it again, that's another reason behind wanting a girl so badly. Boys are four to nine times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than girls and boys are four times more likely to have ASD than girls, so whilst having girl isn't 100% the safest option to get a child not afflicted by ADHD/ASD, it does seem to have better odds. There's also the fact that I've been-there-done-that with a boy in general. I want a new challenge and having a girl would be completely out of my 'comfort zone'.
I, personally, had a heap of fun shopping with Anisiia. She's chatty, affectionate and in general an awesome kid to hang out with. She's also very helpful which I find as a bonus coz Kaleb would fake his own death to get out of doing a chore! If I could clone her, I would. But I'll just have to settle for having one of my own in a few years time. Let's see if I am still writing this blog when that time comes around. I'll blog about how I'm going, what I'm doing to try and ensure I have a girl etc.
Hopefully along the way I'll lose all this weight I have left to lose (50kg odd) and find myself a good man who also wants kids.
Wish me luck on both those fronts!
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